Five Things I've Learned in Five Years of Therapy: A List
Dear Reader,
There are three primary things I contribute to my being a mostly well-adjusted human being: prayer, therapy, and weekly gym classes where the rage/anxiety/existential dread temporarily leaves my body through my pores in the form of lots and lots of sweat.
I believe most people probably need some level of therapy. I also believe the people who don’t think therapy is for them need only to get married or become a parent (or both) and then they’ll quickly discover just how messed up they are.
I have been in therapy for about five years. I love my therapist so much that every year I wish I could invite her to Thanksgiving dinner, but that seems inappropriate.
Here are five things I’ve learned in five years of therapy:
There are no “good” or “bad” feelings; there’s just feelings. Feeling guilty for having a “bad” feeling only makes the whole thing worse.
Your feelings are speaking to you. They have something to say. It takes immense courage and work to stay with the uncomfortable feelings in order to learn what they are trying to tell you.
Sometimes the reason something is so difficult is not because of the thing itself, but because of the way two people are communicating about said thing.
Doubting your own desires - what you want out of life, your dreams, your needs - is a practice that will bring about a lot of heartache. Examine the desires, but there’s no need to doubt them. They’re already there; they are real.
I am more selfish than I thought, but luckily I am also more capable of change than I thought.
TODAY’S PRAYER
Lord, thank you for access to mental healthcare. Thank you that life’s hardest things do not have to stay that way. Thank you for creating us as people who can heal, change, grow. Thank you that there is a gift even in struggle, because it forms me in the deepest of ways.